I’m not big on saying I’m an Ally
Saying you’re an ally, particularly during June, Pride Month, is an odd flex. I don’t understand why folks feel the need to declare they’re not gay. Here are some reasons I don’t say ally:
It gives “no homo” vibes.
Self-employed folks in particular always seem to be afraid they’ll lose a potential market or segment of their client base, so they want to please everyone. Say you’re an ally, you think queers will respect you. It goes an extra step, though. You’re telling people who don’t like queers that you’re straight. The ally wants to straddle the fence, when they’re really standing with the straights, all-in.
You’re not going to impress the bigots.
There’s really nothing you can do to win over conservative bigots once you acknowledge that queers exist. They want nothing short of obliteration for queers. When Daesh (commonly referred to as ISIS) had greater influence in the Middle East, the easiest way for them to eliminate enemies was to declare them to be homosexuals. Then they could throw them off fifty-foot walls to the ground. While American homophobes usually don’t go that far, they stand with the sentiment. If you think declaring you’re straight helps you keep or attract business from these people, you’re delusional.
Queers aren’t going to hit on you.
Saying you support queer rights isn’t a declaration of availability. You don’t have to say “no homo” — the homos know who is and isn’t. If you want to date someone who is queer, conversation, body language. and overall attitude will communicate your interest. Otherwise, fear not.
You discourage and disparage queer kids.
Declaring you support queer kids while at the same time making it clear you’re straight is a mixed signal. The teen exploring their sexuality looks and listens, wondering why you have to distance yourself from what they are. Offer unequivocal support to young queers.
“Allyship” is a great way to ignore Trans people.
Even among liberals, even among some queers, transgender people are still discriminated against. Declaring you’re an overall ally enables one to skirt addressing the issues surrounding the trans community. There’s tons of shit trans folks have to endure, and all too many straight allies would rather wash their hands of any involvement in making life easier for them.
You’re here. They’re queer. Love and support them. It’s not about you.
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